How to Let Go of the Past

My “past” is pretty ordinary. There are good times and not-so-good times. I have a few regrets, things I wish I could do differently, and things I wish I had done more often.

But overall, I wouldn’t change a thing. Every decision, good or bad, has shaped me into who I am, and I’m grateful for all of them. I’ve learned what I could, kept my good memories close, and let go of the rest.

What I don’t do is dwell on the past. I especially don’t think about the not-so-great parts of my past.

Dwelling on the past can feel like carrying a heavy weight filled with regrets, mistakes, and “what ifs.” It’s tempting to replay old memories or fixate on things we can’t change, but staying stuck in the past keeps us from living fully in the present.

Letting go isn’t about forgetting memories—it’s about freeing yourself to move forward with clarity and purpose.

If you feel like you’re spending too much time in the past, here’s a guide to help you start spending more time in today and tomorrow.

1. Acknowledge the Past Without Judgment

The first step to moving on is recognizing what’s holding you back. Take a moment to think about the specific memories or events you’re stuck on. Write them down if it helps. The key is to observe these thoughts without judging yourself. You’re not weak for feeling this way—you’re human. 

Acknowledging the past validates your emotions and gives you space to release them.

Try this: Journal for 10 minutes about what’s lingering in your mind. Ask, “Why does this still matter to me?” Be honest, but don’t dwell. Once it’s on paper, you can start to let it go.

2. Reframe Your Story

The way you tell your story shapes how you feel about it. Instead of seeing the past as a series of failures or losses, reframe it as a chapter of growth. Every mistake teaches you something. Every heartbreak builds resilience. 

By changing your perspective, you turn the past into a tool for empowerment rather than a source of pain.

3. Reflect on Past Experiences

Think about a time when something didn’t go as planned. Instead of dwelling on the negative, try to learn from it. What did you gain from that experience? What can you do differently next time?

4. Stay Present

Getting lost in the past can make it hard to enjoy the present moment. Try to focus on the here and now. Engage your senses—smell your coffee, feel your clothes, listen to the sounds around you. These little things can help you stay grounded and remind you that life is happening right now.

5. Take Action

Ruminating on the past can be like spinning your wheels in mud. You’re busy, but you’re not making any progress. Instead of dwelling on the past, take small, intentional actions toward your goals. Action creates momentum, and momentum shifts your focus to the future. It doesn’t have to be big; even tiny steps count.

6. Be Kind to Yourself

Beating yourself up over past mistakes only makes them worse. Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend. You did the best you could with what you knew at the time. Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean ignoring the past; it means choosing to stop punishing yourself for it.

7. Limit Triggers

Certain things can pull you back into the past. Try to limit your exposure to those triggers. If something triggers you, take a step back and focus on the present moment. Pay attention to what, or who, makes you feel like you’re stuck in the past. It could be scrolling through old photos, revisiting certain social media profiles, or hanging out with negative people. Set boundaries to protect your mental space.

8. Create a Vision for the Future

The past can feel heavy when you don’t have something exciting to look forward to. Make a vision for your future that makes you feel happy and fulfilled. It could be a new hobby, a career goal, or simply a commitment to being more present with loved ones. Having a purpose can help you stay focused and motivated.

9. Don’t Hesitate to Ask for Help

Sometimes, the past feels too heavy to handle alone. Talking to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist can help you process and release what’s holding you back. Remember, asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of strength.

Final Thoughts

Letting go of the past is a journey, not a destination. Some days, you’ll feel free and happy; others, old memories might creep in. That’s okay. What matters is choosing to show up for the present, one step at a time. You can’t change what happened, but you can change how you carry it. By acknowledging, reframing, and acting, you’ll find that the past loses its grip, leaving room for a brighter, more intentional today.

What’s one small step you can take right now to focus on the present? Start there and let the rest follow.

Written by:  Steve Keating, a Certified Professional Salesperson, Certified Sales Executive and Certified Marketing Executive, for Steve Keating blog.