Earn Your Second Chance

Everyone makes mistakes, but we can earn a second chance by apologizing and seeking to set things right, writes John Baldoni.

A good number of senior executives with whom I have worked have told me that at some point in their early careers, a senior colleague or maybe a boss pulled them aside and gave them some frank advice: if you don’t stop behaving so entitled, you will end up out on your ear. And fortunately for them – and those they would one day manage – they listened. They received a second chance and made the most of it.

We all love stories of second chances because, so often, they turn out well. Or at least the stories we know are positive. Why? The person who got a second chance learned from their mistake and came to understand that when leading others, you need to find ways to elevate them, not denigrate them.

Second chances are often rooted in the concept of redemption. To be redeemed, you need to acknowledge what you have done wrong and accept the consequences of your actions. Often, you need to apologize to those you have harmed and find ways to make amends. Failure to acknowledge misdeeds undermines self-growth.

What to do next when seeking a second chance

If you are seeking a second chance, consider these steps.

• Study what you did wrong. 
• Ask for feedback. 
• Integrate what you have learned into your behavior and your outlook.
• Apologize for missteps.
• Ask how you can make things right. 

Acknowledge and move forward

These steps are fundamental, but they may not always be effective. Some time ago, I gave a keynote that went very well. I had researched my topic well and made my presentation engaging and interactive. The audience seemed very pleased. Later, I learned that the client was not satisfied. I offered to give another presentation to the client at no cost, but was turned down flat. 

While I was disappointed, of course, I realized that you may do your best to make amends, but sometimes your effort will be unrewarded. You have to realize that it’s not what you want; it is what others want and need from you. And if you fell short, well, you need to acknowledge it and move forward. You can learn and make your next “second chance” a worthy effort. As author Maya Angelou said, “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” 

Mistakes can be great teachable moments if we pay attention and are willing to accept feedback. In the process, we can learn new ways of doing things. Even better, we also gain insights into ourselves. We learn that adversity can stymie us in the short term, but with effort and resilience, we can move forward and become stronger and better than ever —one who will earn that second chance and make it work.

Written by:  John Baldoni, a globally recognized speaker, senior communications advisor, and the author of 15 books, for SmartBrief.