Developing Positive Human Interactions

I’m pretty certain there is no such thing as a neutral human interaction. Every time, every single time, we interact with another human being, we leave them feeling either better about themselves or worse. They do the same for, or to, us.

Sometimes it’s a lot better or a lot worse, but most of the time it’s just a little. Very often it’s so little that it’s almost imperceptible. But it’s there. It’s a feeling; after we talk with someone, we feel a little less stress, a tiny bit happier, or a tiny bit more stress or anxious.

But we don’t feel exactly the same as we did before the interaction.

And the interaction doesn’t even have to be a full-fledged conversation; it can simply be a smile, frown, or some kind of gesture. It can be a simple acknowledgment of their presence or intentionally ignoring them.

But if you’re like me, I’ll bet you seldom, if ever, ask yourself what kind of impact you want to have on someone after they interact with you.

If you want to make a positive impact and help others walk away from interactions with you feeling better about themselves, it’s all about intentionality, empathy, and authenticity. Here’s a guide to creating those feel-good moments that linger long after the interaction or conversation ends.

1. Listen Actively and Fully

Nothing makes someone feel valued like being truly heard. Active listening goes beyond nodding along—it’s about engaging with what they’re saying without planning your response while they’re talking.

How to do it: Maintain eye contact (without staring), nod to show understanding, and ask follow-up questions that dig deeper into their thoughts. For example, if someone shares a story about a tough day, say, “That sounds really challenging—how did you handle it?” This shows you are invested in their experience.

Why it works: When people feel heard, they feel validated, which boosts their sense of worth.

2. Offer Genuine Compliments

A sincere compliment can light up someone’s day, but it has to be specific and authentic. Generic praise like “You’re great” doesn’t hit the same as noticing something unique.

How to do it: Pay attention to what stands out about them. Maybe it’s their creativity in solving a problem or the way they always make others laugh. Say something like, “I really admire how you always find a way to make everyone feel included.” Be specific and tie it to something they’ve done or who they are.

Why it works: Genuine compliments affirm someone’s strengths, reinforcing their positive self-image.

3. Practice Empathy, Not Judgment

Empathy is the ability to step into someone else’s shoes and understand their feelings without criticism. When people feel judged, they shrink; when they feel understood, they grow.

How to do it: If someone shares a struggle, resist the urge to offer quick fixes or comparisons like, “Oh, I’ve had it worse.” Instead, validate their emotions with phrases like, “I can see why you’d feel that way—that sounds really tough.” Even if you don’t fully relate, show you’re trying to understand.

Why it works: Empathy creates a safe space where people feel accepted, which naturally boosts their confidence.

4. Encourage Their Strengths

Sometimes, people don’t see their own potential as clearly as others do. Pointing out their strengths or encouraging them to lean into their talents can be a game changer.

How to do it: If you notice someone excels at something, let them know and encourage them to keep going. For example, “You have such a knack for explaining complex ideas—I bet you’d be amazing at teaching or presenting.” Offer to support them, like brainstorming ideas or connecting them with opportunities.

Why it works: Highlighting strengths helps people recognize their value and inspires them to pursue their passions.

5. Be Present and Positive

Your energy is contagious. If you’re distracted or negative, it can drag others down. Being fully present and bringing a positive vibe can make someone feel like they matter.

How to do it: Put away distractions like your phone, and focus on the moment. Share a smile, a laugh, or an optimistic perspective. Even small gestures, like saying, “I’m really glad we got to catch up,” can leave them feeling appreciated.

Why it works: Positivity is uplifting, and being present signals that they are worth your time.

6. Avoid One-Upmanship

It’s tempting to share your own stories or achievements when someone else is talking, but this can unintentionally make them feel overshadowed. Keep the focus on them.

How to do it: If they share an accomplishment, celebrate it without pivoting to your own. Instead of, “That’s awesome; I did something similar last year,” try, “That’s incredible! Tell me more about how you pulled that off.” Let them shine.

Why it works: Keeping the spotlight on them reinforces their sense of importance and accomplishment.

7. Follow Up and Show You Care

A quick follow-up after an interaction shows that you genuinely value the connection. It could be a text, a note, or a mention the next time you see them.

How to do it: If they mentioned a big meeting or a personal goal, check in later: “Hey, how did that presentation go? I was thinking about you!” It doesn’t have to be elaborate—just show you remember.

Why it works: Following up makes people feel significant and strengthens their trust in the relationship.

8. Be Authentic

People can sense when you’re being fake or overly performative.

How to do it: Share your thoughts and feelings honestly (while staying kind), and don’t try to impress or exaggerate. If you’re having a rough day, it’s okay to say, “I’m not at my best today, but I’m really glad to see you.” 

Authenticity builds trust.

Why it works: Authenticity makes others feel comfortable being themselves, which boosts their confidence.

Final Thoughts

Helping others feel better about themselves doesn’t require grand gestures—it’s about small, intentional actions that show you see and value them. Listen deeply, celebrate their uniqueness, and create an environment where they feel safe to shine.

When you make someone feel understood, appreciated, and capable, you’re not just brightening their day—you’re helping them see the best in themselves. And that’s a gift that keeps on giving.

Written by: Steve Keating, Author, for the Steve Keating Blog.