How the Skill of Influencing Others Helps You be an Effective Leader

Effective leaders have learned the art of influencing others, writes LaRae Quy, who offers 3 tips to master the fundamentals of persuasion.

As an FBI counterintelligence agent tasked with recruiting foreign spies to work for the US Government, I understood my role was to influence and convert others to my way of thinking. I didn’t deceive myself into thinking I was a master of persuasion, so I observed how successful colleagues approached not only foreign spies but also other agents on our squad.

I felt like I was back in elementary school, learning how to develop the vital skill of influencing others. Some of my colleagues relied on charisma and eloquence to make their case without it seeming like effort. How could I learn their skills and apply them myself, since their wisdom didn’t come from manuals or cheat sheets?

When I hung out with them in the office, they didn’t seem impressive at all, yet they were the ones who got things done through others, including me! I can count more than once when I was pulled into their orbit. I never saw myself as a pushover, but I still took on a crappy assignment more than once just to please them.

What sort of magic did they possess? Even better, how can I learn to influence others?

Leadership is often described as a social influence process where one person gains the cooperation and support of others to achieve a shared goal. Effective leaders depend more on influence than authority because trust fosters commitment, while authority merely forces compliance. 

While barking out assignments and orders can achieve high compliance, the actions may lack enthusiasm. Hard-nosed tactics are most effective for straightforward, clear and urgent tasks.

However, in complex, ambiguous situations, soft influence tactics that rely on trust, empathy and rational persuasion are more effective for gaining team members’ buy-in. 

The softer influence tactics showed how agents on my squad captured an audience, persuaded the undecided and converted the doubtful. I learned that effective leadership draws on inspirational appeals.

Here are tips on how the skill of influencing others helps you be an effective leader:

• Start with trust

One of the first things I noticed about effective leaders was that they keep their word. They make fewer promises but treat those promises as sacred. They meet deadlines, arrive on time and speak as truthfully as possible.

I learned that even when trying to persuade a foreign spy to betray their country, the barriers between us only came down once trust was established. My role was to demonstrate competence and reliability; their trust followed naturally. 

Research shows that who delivers the message often matters just as much as what is said. If you are seen as both credible and an expert, you’re much more likely to persuade others. Expertise and trustworthiness boost how people perceive you, making them more confident in you and more willing to accept what you say.

Studies have shown it’s important to consider how you frame your message if you want to build trust. The brain values options, not just logical arguments. A 2025 meta-analysis confirmed that using both emotional and logical appeals is crucial when talking with team members. Winning hearts and minds is key to persuasion strategies.

My tips:

• Start with small, simple steps that align with your audience’s self-image. 
• Build unity by sharing goals, emphasizing similarities and using respectful language.
• Frame your conversation around what matters to your audience — like purpose, faith, growth and status.
• Make commitments you can keep, not empty promises or platitudes.

2. Listen to connect, not correct

We know that active listening is a powerful influence tactic, but a 2025 field experiment involving nearly 1,500 conversations reached an interesting conclusion. It found that high‑quality, nonjudgmental listening increased participants’ liking and trust of the persuader and reduced defensiveness, but it did not produce an attitude change. 

The purpose of active listening is to engage in one-on-one conversations that focus on people’s goals, stress, aspirations and frustrations. It helps leaders understand their people as individuals, so they can ask open-ended questions, paraphrase what they’ve heard and seek different points of view. 

Listening is best understood as the foundation that makes other influence tools more ethical and effective, rather than a stand-alone silver bullet. This is a crucial first step because it fosters psychological safety and trust.

This, in turn, fosters a willingness to follow a leader’s direction. Active listening reduces resistance and makes people more open to considering a leader’s perspective or trying their suggestions.

When we listen deeply, others are more likely to share when we ask follow-up questions. We reflect on what they say and observe their body language. This helps us understand their true motives, fears and values. As leaders, we can use this to frame requests in ways that align with their identities and goals. 

When we choose to connect rather than correct, it’s an effective way to take the first step in influencing others. 

My tips:

Make sure follow-ups are:

• Honest, value-driven conversations
• Offer clear requests and small commitments
• Remain emotionally authentic and consistent with your team
• Align with their values: Frame the request in terms of what they care about (purpose, team, faith, growth, security, status)

3. Dare to inspire others

Rational persuasion is a simple, commonly used influence tactic among leaders. It depends on logic, reasoning or evidence to explain or justify a position and to show that the leader’s perspective is the most logical choice. A study examined 504 incidents reported by MBA students and found that rational persuasion was used in over half of all influence attempts, more than any other tactic.

While rational persuasion was the most commonly used, other studies have shown it is not the most effective. Instead, inspirational approaches are better for understanding someone else’s perspective because they focus on their emotions and values.

As a leader, you can more effectively gain commitment by using inspirational appeals. For example: “You’re the best one to handle this negotiation because you care about both the environment and the business.” 

A meta‑analysis concludes that rational persuasion is the best influence tactic for consistently producing positive effects across many conditions. However, inspirational tactics perform best when both values and emotions are central.

Recent findings demonstrated that inspirational appeal, consultation and rational appeal are the most effective influence methods, with inspirational appeal the most effective of the three, whereas pressure and coalition tactics are the least effective.

You become more inspiring by avoiding drama, consistently connecting people’s work to a meaningful future, living your values openly and showing genuine belief in the people you lead.

My tips: 

• Articulate a clear, optimistic vision of the future and explain why the work matters beyond just metrics; connect tasks to a meaningful purpose that resonates with people. 
• Ask for feedback — “What helps you feel most energized at work?” Effective leaders see inspiration as a skill to develop and practice. 
• Identify the core value behind your request (such as service, excellence, growth, faith or stewardship) and describe what it will look like in action when that value is demonstrated.
• Provide regular, specific recognition for effort and growth, not just results; genuine appreciation is one of the most powerful (and often overlooked) motivators.

Influential and effective leadership depends on a sequence: earn trust, listen deeply to understand values and then use inspirational appeals (backed by logic) to invite people into a meaningful, shared future.

Written by: LaRae Quy, an FBI undercover and counterintelligence agent for 24 years, for SmartBrief.